The Girl From Elsewhere - Part IV

Touching Skins

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I am alone in the infirmary now. Lily and Stef left when I turned my head aside and sobbed my pain away. I am wide awake. I have slept more than enough, in that pod. I lie in the bed, safely secured to it by the straps. I just lose myself in my thoughts and try to remember more of life before my bubble. I can see my Kindred Olaya's face very clearly but not much else comes to me. I get frustrated often, feel helpless constantly.

When I mention my amnesia to Lily, she speculates that I must have had some kind of trauma. I concede with her. Since I've woken, I've concluded that the pod must have been keeping me alive and healing me. Healing me from some kind of injury. Lily often starts daydreaming and, even though I prefer to leave her thoughts to herself, I sometimes take a glimpse through our touching skins.

She is puzzled about me. The whole crew and the Mission Controls on Earth are too. In her mind, I look human so I must be, right? But the pod doesn’t look man-made. The crew thoroughly studied it, as much as they could with what is available on the station. Now they know with absolute certainty that it hasn’t come from Earth. Its metal is unidentifiable and its engineering doesn’t rely on electricity or any known power source. They have also taken a sample of my blood. And even though it has many similarities with hers, or Victor’s or Stef’s, they see in its genetic markers major dissimilarities. Like I am a cousin species to theirs. Close enough to be familiar to them, foreign enough to raise many questions. But with a limited amount of resources here on the station, they cannot do much more to find answers. Lily does not feel threatened by my existence, although it is puzzling her. However, the rest of the crew on board remain cautious and uneasy around me. They do not feel threatened by me personally, but by the mystery which surrounds me, where I came from and how I came to be here.

Lily is the only one who spends all her free time with me. The others only visit when duty calls them to me. Her thoughts are curious but not suspicious. By knowing only a little, she trusts me. She has that instinctual trust, anchored inside of her. Her mind wanders to speculations, of course, but she is patient with me. Am I one of those “abducted by aliens” people? Am I a long forgotten astronaut whose biology was altered by long exposure to space radiation? She seems amused by the idea, as somehow that possibility of an unknown lost astronaut floating in space is much less likely than the alien theory. More and more, things point to me coming from somewhere else entirely.

They have introduced me to their food. Most of it I do not recognise from my past, except from their fruits. The vacuumed sealed packages Lily hands me seem completely new to me. But as she names them while presenting them to me, my brain instantly registers their entire histories and science. I now understand the way they categorise their nutrients, the different foods they harvest from their soil, which animal they farm for their meat and produce, their farming industries and the processed foods they manufacture for mass distribution and consumption.

Lily feels the most comfortable around me. The only other one who, while being reserved around me, remains unthreatened by my mere existence, is Stef. I am not sure how to explain it... I think the fact that they are both females, or women, as they prefer to call themselves, and have suffered great loss in their lives makes them more empathetic to my situation... When I turned to them and told them I had lost my Kindred, both knew exactly the feeling. They could relate to me in that fateful moment. I think the men in the crew could relate to me as well, if only they let themselves close enough to get to know me, other than labelling me as the habitant of that foreign pod, the multi-languages stranger, the unknown blood type woman, the humanoid but not human. It is their way of protecting themselves. In that sense, they are a bit harder to figure out. I steer my conversations with Lily towards them, and through her skin, I see them and their stories. I found that was the only option I had to gather any kind of information on the rest of the crew members, who make themselves painfully scarce when it comes to visiting me. She would not reveal too much willingly, more by respect of their wishes to distance themselves from me than by mistrust of my intentions.

Erik Wieler was born and raised in Tudhoe, England, in the seventies. After developing an interest in Biosciences in his first years of studying at the Durham University, he continued his studies and research at the University of Edinburgh, majoring in Aerobiology, in the late nineties. He is the Commander here. It is his first time as such but his second expedition onboard the ISS. Even though he is a quiet and private person, even with his own crew, I see a little bit of his life’s journey during my conversations with Lily. He came only a couple of times to see me. Well... To 'interview' me, although his distant politeness and gruff conduct make me feel like he was closer to interrogating me. I was unable to make physical contact with him. He, as well as his superiors on Earth, did not get a whole lot of answers out of me... Not that I am purposefully keeping things to myself... Most of what I know, I share with him. With them... But my answers lead to more unexplainable questions… I’m a puzzle, an anomaly, a strange occurrence.

Victor Bonfrère, Lily's mate from the spacewalk, the one she considers like a brother, is a Frenchman who before he was a man, was a boy. An orphan boy who was adopted at age 8 by a loving yet expectant family. They dreamed his entire life for him, and, craving their unconditional love, he lovingly obliged in their prospects of his future. He has developed a soft and humorous nature, no room for bitterness or frustration in his loving heart. His parents are his life and he would make them proud. He would reach for the stars for them, and that he did. However, he supported Lily's position as First Flight Engineer over his own advancements, and remained as her Second.

Itsurō Shibata, born in the fishing village of Chibu, Japan, knew very early on what he wanted in life. He wanted to fly to the moon, like the Big American Boy, Neil Armstrong. With his dreams in his head, he moved away as a young man, first to Nagoya to attend university there, then to Tokyo to study at The University Of Tokyo, number 12 in global best universities for Space Science, number 1 in Japan. His official titles aboard the ISS is Doctor Astronaut and Science Officer, and he has come to see me briefly a few times. He is the one who drew my blood and studied it. He would hurry over my vital signs and exit as soon as he could, always with an air of curiosity about him that was tightly kept under control by his formal nature and culture. Despite my efforts to make physical contact, he wore medical gloves at each of our encounters. Meticulous in his medical duties, he unknowingly prevented me from reading his thoughts. Even though he had trained intensely in medicine and biology and had been appointed the post of Science Officer, he had also intensive training in engineering and had participated in the designing and building of Kibo, the Japanese Experiment Module that was launched and attached to the ISS in 2008. He took pride working in its laboratory, now that he was on board. To him, it was like coming home. His childhood dream of going to the moon will happen later, he had decided. For now, the ISS was where he wanted to be, and he was making the most of it.

Lev Popov is a mystery to me. He is Russian, that I know for sure. But he hasn't shared much of his personal life with his crewmates. He keeps to his job, which mainly consists of maintenance and observation, and he keeps to himself. Even Stef, his own countrywoman, knows very little about him outside of his ISS career, and she knows better than to bother him with personal conversations. The only time I have seen him in my presence, is through Lily's eyes, in her memory of discovering my pod.

And last of the crew, but not least, is William 'Bill' Doyle, of proud Irish descent and even prouder American nationality. Bill is outspoken and jovial towards his mates, but like the rest of them, reserved around me. From the few glimpses I get from Lily's thoughts, she likes him fine but has no particular affection for his blatant patriotism. She understands it, but has no time for it herself. Her early life in Brazil gave her, in her opinion, a more open and wider view of the world. Working on the ISS, towards a same goal, with such a multicultural and interesting bunch of people has taught her that much: USA, as much as she loves it and owes her life to it, is only a fraction of humanity. Bill, while being a great man and an even greater part of the team, was not seeing things the same way: America was the greatest country, and always will be. Period. He came to visit me a handful of times only. He would not speak. He would just float near me, observing me, taking notes. Even though they were odd encounters, he never made me feel threatened or uncomfortable. I knew he was just doing his job.

Lily had said that I would be under observation, briefly mentioning the many questions about me and pointing to the room surveillance camera. She had said not to worry, that most areas on the ISS were constantly feeding to the Earth's Mission Controls and that my arrival had spiked a lot of curiosity. I understand why.

I don't think Lily has picked up on my telepathy. I will tell her soon. But for now, it is part of my identity. It is mine and mine alone, and as such, I hesitate to share it just yet. I know, without remembering anything specific, that this trait, as well as my seemingly innate knowledge and perfect memory, is part of my culture. I mean perfect memory apart from my own past… To Lily and her people, I am special. At Home, I am not. We scarcely communicate with our tongue, preferring the transparency of our minds. I am part of the People of Knowledge. That is all I can put together for now. But I hope that with patience and work, I will unlock those bits of memory that evade me. Put the puzzle back together.

The mission has been called short, due to my arrival. In six days, they will take me down to Earth. I had studied the photos Stef had brought to me the day I woke up, and could not feel like I belonged to any specific place. Later, Erik showed Earth to me, through a reinforced glass viewing porthole. It is magnificent and imposingly big. Blue and white and brown and green. I am familiar with the sight. And oh, what a sight! He also explained to me what our trip back will be like. I have a rough ride to look forward to, but that doesn't scare me. Instead, my curiosity about Earth and its people makes me excited, if not for the trip itself, for the destination.

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Today, Lily is with me again in the infirmary. I have made the decision to tell her now everything I know, concerning my story. She reminds me so much of my Kindred. And she has treated me so kindly, I feel I owe it to her to be truthful. And I fear once we arrive on Earth, we won't get as much time together. I also feel that she might be of some help, might give me advice on how to approach the subject with the people in charge on Earth. When I start talking, I do not hold her hand. I want to respect the privacy of her thoughts, and I know she will appreciate it. I understand how disturbing what I am about to say will be for her.

“When you first talked to me, do you remember that you held my hand? When you did, I saw the images and your emotions that your inner eye was seeing as you spoke your words. I saw your start in life in Brazil, how young you were when you had a baby, why, you were still just a baby yourself... I saw when you lost your son Pablo in the car crash, as well as your abuela, and how you came to be an astronaut at NASA. I saw Stef's history too, or at least the one she shared with you. I felt both of your despair as life’s tragedies rained down on you. I saw what the ISS is and represents for you. And then you said something about finding me. Do you remember? When you did, I saw you repairing that solar panel. I saw when Victor first spotted my pod and I saw how you two brought me in. I saw it all. Through your mind, down to your hands, connected to my skin and up to my own mind’s eye.”

I paused for a moment, giving her some time to understand what I was telling her. She had held her breath for a while. She had grown very pale and still. She slowly exhales.

“You will have some questions, I know. But let me tell you everything first. I have many questions myself, as you must know… But I figure two of our brains will maybe shed some light?”

She quietly and softly nods. So still, like she is afraid of breaking the moment.

“I watched, through your eyes, as you brought the pod in. I watched as you communicated with your superiors on Earth. I watched as you were ordered to take me out of the pod. And I watched as you carried out your orders. Victor is the one who opened the hatch and Itsuro and Lev were the ones who secured me to the bed while I was in a fit. It felt like I was being born, catching my first breath... I was screaming, do you remember? Before I settled and became still again?”

She nods again, reliving the memory, her eyes intense on my face.

“I remember”

She whispers, breathlessly.

“You remember my screaming as gibberish. It was not gibberish, Lily. It was my mother tongue.”

To that, she opens her mouth to formulate a question but catches herself, and gestures for me to go on.

“I am struggling to remember beyond my sleep in my pod. I remember being alive in that sleep. I remember hearing my Olaya, my Kindred, talking to me through its metal. And later on, I remember hearing her shouting orders to someone else. She was saying: «The War has arrived! We are dying! Launch the pods now!», and then closer, whispering through my pod, she said farewell to me. I remember feeling the pod being sent away. At the time, it was very bizarre to me. I hadn't realised where I was. I thought I was a baby in my mother's womb. I though she was my mother. But she was my Kindred and those were her last words to me...”

I pause for a moment. My voice has started to waver and I do not want to lose myself to my emotions. After recovering, I continue my tirade.

“Somehow, seeing this, made me understand that everything I knew is gone. My Home, my Kindred, my Kin, my People. I think I was in that pod for a reason. I think my body needed it to heal. I do not know yet from what. I do not know much more… Well, no. That's not true. When I heard myself speak in my mother tongue, I realised something... I know I am part of the People of Knowledge, and to us it is like your Christianity. It is our religion. Our drive in life.”

Lily nods again. She understands it. She has as much faith in her science as she has in her God. Both are paramount to her and both need to be revered.

“You see, my ability to see, hear and feel as you do when we touch, that is a trait of my People. That is the way we communicate. We only use speech to communicate with others, the ones whose touch cannot give them the ability to read, ones like you. And there is something else I know about myself. About my People. We have innate knowledge. We only need to hear a word to understand it fully, entirely. Not only its meaning, but its history, the pathways of its language... Everything. Do you understand? Do you remember, the first moment I opened my eyes, you tried to speak to me in many different languages? I could understand all of them. And after a little bit of assimilation, I would be able to speak them all. That is how I learned English so fast. And there is one last thing I want to share with you. Although it is eluding me at the moment, at least concerning my own past, we have perfect memory. We do not forget. Ever. Once we know something, it becomes part of us. I suspect that mine is failing me now because of the injury that I had before I was put in the pod. But I am working hard on myself to make it resurface. I am sorry for keeping these facts from you. But please understand, I just woke up, surrounded by strangers' faces and languages, struggling with my memory. But I know, not by something I learned from our touch, but from something different which connects us, that I can trust you. I know you will look out for me, as much as you are able to. I know you wish to defend my interest. And for you to do that effectively, you have to know as much as I do. You see, as much as I am excited to get to Earth, I am also aware that it will all be like waking up from my long sleep again. I will be lost. And I hope I can count on you to guide me.”

I finish speaking slowly… My last sentence, a question in suspense in the air. We stay silent for a while. I observe her face as she digests everything I said. I patiently wait until she is ready for her questions. I expect she will have many. But the only one she asks, at least for now, is:

“What can I do to help you?”

Original story & Copyright by Julia Mesrobian

Part V coming out on Sunday 2nd January 2022